This here is Carlos “Halfly” Rodriguez, or who we here at Lavar Burton like to call “Ol’ Soup Bowl Head Havin’ Ass.” Apparently at the age of 14 Carlos raged it up with some of his buddies, stole a car and wrecked it. A pole launched him out the windshield like a ping pong ball rocketing from some middle-aged, end-of-the-line, VFW Post prostitute’s twat. Speaking of prostitutes, Ol’ Grater Head here first came to internet fame when he was arrested for allegedly soliciting prostitution. Not to be rude, but I know prostitutes. Yeah, he could have given the hooker $37 for some puss puss. But that’s just gonna end with him walking away with scabies and a turd in the middle of his commode-shaped head. Jesus Christ, is this guy a walking Mothers Against Drunk Driving billboard, or what? Holy damn give me some Lucky Charms and some goddamn whole milk ’cause I’m stoney baloney and I’m gonna eat breakfast out of this dude’s crazy head. I might have to drop this guy off at my brother’s house so my godson can use his head to finger board and pretend he’s doing a backside disaster at Burnside.
I’m sure some of you think that I’m being heartless. Trust me when I say that when I first saw the photos I felt more sympathy for this man than I’ve ever have for anyone else in my 27 years of life. But after watching this video I now suspect this dude didn’t have a whole lotta brain to begin with. Also, fuck this dude anyways. We’ve got enough freaks and ghouls in Florida. Somebody needs to be held accountable and ship this dude to Amish Country so he can get paid for churning butter. 
Below is video glimpse into Halfy’s mind, or what’s left of it. From expressing the importance of not doing drugs, (while smoking a blunt) to the dangers of “drugness and driving” to Obama smoking out the White House. This is Halfy’s world and we’re just living in it. Fucking elephants or not, at least Halfy can still get some pussy.
